Thursday, November 7, 2013

Reinventing Yourself after Divorce


           A chapter has ended and there is so much  that has gone on. The divorce papers are filed and its looking to the next chapter and door that opens. The relationship that one had so much high hopes for has dissolved after possibly being married for decades,years,weeks. One may be heartbroken or relieved and sometimes a little bit of both.

          Starting the new chapter of life takes a lot of work and it can be dreaded. There is the next question that one may ask themselves. Where do you turn from this point forward? Reinventing ones self as a newly single person takes looking at a few aspects. These aspects include but are not limited to questions to ask the4mselves such as, what do I want my life to look like? Where do I start from here?  As individuals who marry do not marry with the intention feeling as though they will be in this situation someday. Everyone has unique experiences in a marriage experience and there are different circumstances lead to the break up as the end result. Now let's look at the reinvention of how to "Move Forward" after a loss. One must take the time to grieve and face the facts as this is a great start to helping one to reinvent themselves as a person. The grieving process includes feeling or loss,guilt,remorse or even questioning ones action and wondering if the right thing was done as a end result. One must come to grips with the fact that a loss is a loss as a end result. As I had to  Make room for positive thoughts.  and be able to work through the feelings that one goes through.

           One thing that I can say that is a huge deal is to not carry your baggage into the next relationship. Focus your energy on healthy activities and talk about the feelings. As human beings everyone may find it easier to move the baggage into the closet and leave it for later. This will not help one to reinvent themselves as a end result it makes things worse. Therapy is also a great way to work through ones emotions,feelings and struggles. Many individuals see therapy as a bad thing. However, it can help one to create a better life and not fall back into the same negative patterns that one did before.  One must not assume that therapy does means that you have a problem it just means that you are in crisis at that point and time and need someone to help express the feelings and work through them. One must remember that even though the feelings of guilt come in the process of grief there is a point one may self-rejection after one goes through the process of a divorce.

           One must focus on liking themselves before they can love anyone else. One must acknowledge that one again a loss is a loss. Working on gaining and maintaining confidence in ones self helps one to achieve the ability to gain self-worth!