as prayer circles emerged and people that we did not even know came together.
Tyler was a strong boy and was always willing to help people. Always wanting to stay active and be a part of everything. As a only child he was spoiled. As l layed by his side after his car wreck that landed him in ICU on life support, A part of me had died. High hopes remained that he would pull through. However, everything else pointed in the other direction. As weeks went on chances grew slim and the state he was in would remain that way for the remainder of his life. The part of grief for me that struck me at this point was shock. It was hard to believe that all of this was not just a dream. It was like I was walking on a cloud. The hardest decision I have ever made in my life was determining the quality of life that my son would have. This bringing me to the decision that there was no way I would want to live on a machine my entire life. On February 12th 2013 the decision to discontinue life support was made. Shortly after my grandmother joined him in heaven.
"When we suffer a loss, a break-up, a painful change in our lives, we need to remember to take all the time we need to heal emotionally.Moving forwards and getting back on track with our lives doesn't take a day. It takes a lot of small steps to allow us to break free from our broken self and move on."~ Dave Hedges
On positive noteI am writing this blog with many pages to inform individuals' about different aspects of life that ones can relate to. I suffer from depression,anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. I have learned that researching each disorder and writing about them helps to cope with them. I have also learned different breathing techniques that help with anxiety. After my son passed away the new outlook on life has brought me to want to help others just like my son did. My son was 8 when he passed away,saving lives of many with organ donation. This helps me to cope on a daily basis knowing that he lives on through other people that needed a vital organ. As stated by Unos Annual report (2009)" Without the organ donor, there is no story, no hope, no transplant. But when there is an organ donor, life springs from death, sorrow turns to hope and a terrible loss becomes a gift." – Reprinted from the 2009 UNOS Annual Report.
I was very skeptical at first about donating my sons organs. As a mother I wanted to feel selfish. After all that is my boy. After careful consideration and thoughts. I realized that my son would love helping others as he always did. Knowing that my son would be kept alive only by tubes,I made the decision to let him go. I believe that by far this was the most painful decision a mother could make. However, after receiving reports that my son helped to save the lives of 8 other individuals with families it was overwhelming. I knew at that moment that my son had helped so many and had served a major purpose.Being an organ donor is a big decision. However, saving the lives of others was a less difficult decision to make. There are many myths about organ donations. These myths were clarified by researching carefully before the ultimate decision to have my son be an organ donor. These myths and facts about them can be found at a link I found very helpful for organ donation. He +Donate Life America
I would like to also mention my support team during this rough time. I would like to say THANK YOU to my family,close friends an a special thank you to James Williams for sticking by me. Please take the time to viw my other blog posts in order to view the different journeys I have faced as the year has gone on. Each one touches base on different topics that willo help someone out there to know that they are not alone.
Remembering The Good Times
This song is dedicated to Tyler Murry-My Angel-My hero